Tag Archives: abuse

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7 Sep

The driveway is narrow, but Britton insists on backing in anyways. We park under the huge willow tree, behind the white Audi Convertible. I walk up the flagstone walkway to the front door, and punch the code into the lock that doesn’t quite work anymore. I set my bag and shoes down on the stone entry-way flooring. Sheila has fresh sunflowers in a crystal vase by the door. The house smells like the candles she always lights. I run up the stairs and down the hallway to our room, Britton and I’s room.  It’s very large, with aqua walls. A huge mirror in an ornate gold frame faces the wall across from the queen sleigh bed. The blue paisley duvet and 10 pillows call my name. I sink into the soft mattress. The sheets are the softest I have ever slept in, and cost more than I could ever afford. I love coming here.

In this bed, I could sleep for days.

This is so exactly what I need right now. The comfort of home, and the luxury to help me forget that all my troubles are a mere 15 minute walk away – lying in a bed in the ICU, giving away family heirlooms to a woman he’s known only for a year.

The bitter taste in my mouth spoils everything.

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one confession

22 Jun

I am a terrible person.

I’m not just saying that.

When I was a teenager I was abused.

I have spent many a night praying for that person to die. I begged for it.

He now has cancer.

Sick thing? I know I will miss him when he goes. I will miss him very very much.