defending my choices.

21 Feb

Why is it that a girl can hear so many positive things, but the negative comments are always the ones that stand out??

Let me just first start by saying that Britton and I both have wonderful families. We have been blessed with their full support in our decision to get married. In fact, Britton proposed with his mother’s engagement ring (it was her suggestion!) and had his father’s support in his decision as well. My mother has also been extremely excited (Britton is pretty much her favourite person in the entire universe), and my father is paying for the entire wedding.  We have been living together for almost 2 years,  a couple for over 6, and friends for almost 8. I knew from the start that I wanted him in my life forever.

Those who know us best have been absolutely incredible.

However, where I am currently working, a lot of the girls thought I was 25 years old. (I get this a lot… and I often hear that I am well-spoken and carry myself well). Long story short, it came out that I was 22. One of my older co-workers immediately asked me how the heck a 22 yr old student can afford a wedding. I felt that this was a bit rude, but explained that my father was very traditional and insisted on footing the bill. She then said

“You’re kidding! I would have thought he would have been nervous because you’re too young to be getting married.”

What the heck do I say to that? I asked her at what age she was married, and she replied that she herself had been 21 and they have been happily married for 40 years. She then went on to say that things were different back then. Different how?

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t offended. I’ve been told

“You’re young, what’s the rush?”

…. we’ve been together for 6 years, how is that rushing?? I’ve had someone ask me “You’re only 22? How long have you been together??” and when I said 6 years, she said something about how it’s “alright then”.

Thank you for your permission, stranger.

What works for one couple may not work for another. Marriage is certainly not something that Britton and I are taking lightly. We both made sure we were ready when we made the decision to begin this journey.

I worked for a woman who dated her fiancé for 10 years before getting married at the “acceptable” age of 30. They divorced a year later.

In any case, I’ve decided that from now on, I’m answering any negative comments from strangers with “SHUT UPPP!!!!” “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.”

because as of today, I am not justifying our decision to anyone.

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2 Responses to “defending my choices.”

  1. Gifta Alvina February 24, 2010 at 7:27 pm #

    Hi, i’m just blogwalking and stumble on your post.

    Congratulations for your wedding.

    I don’t think there’s a word too young or too old in marriage. everyone, have theior own right to marry when they’re all ready.

    • Stephanie February 25, 2010 at 7:06 am #

      Thank you Gifta,

      I agree!!

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