this happened.

13 Sep

a lot has happened since I last posted in November (Has it really been that long?).

B and I vacationed in China for two weeks, celebrated our second wedding anniversary, B got a job offer in London (the England London!), B accepted said job offer, we found out I was pregnant, and then B moved to London. In that order.
There. You’re all cought up.

I’m due february 22nd. I’m joining Britton in the UK the first week of December.

I’m toying with the idea of starting a new blog to keep our moms (who don’t know this blog exists!) up to date with how we are doing, and more importantly, how their precious grandchild is doing.

This blog was originally created to just keep a fun record of graduating nursing, getting married,  honeymooning, and moving to northern Ontario within a span of 5 months. (2010 was a busy year)

and I feel as though I’ve somewhat outgrown this here space on the internet. Lets face it people, my life just isn’t that interesting. I don’t do crafts, I barely cook, I work full time and come home to my husband. Fin.

But hopefully my kid will be cute, and motherhood will come with lots of lessons and new experiences that I can write to our family and friends back home about. It’ll be a nice way of keeping them up to date.

So I guess bye for now. I’ll post a link to my possible future mommy blog.

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Beautiful people

20 Nov

The most beautiful people we have known have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

– Elizabeth Kubler Ros

I swear I’m not dead

12 Nov

I know I haven’t posted in like, 2 months. I swear I’m not dead… just me and my mind are going through some tough times right now. I’m off work for 6 weeks, but will spend that time recovering. Not blogging.

Maybe some day I’ll write about it, but probably not.

The truth of the matter is that mental illness still carries way too much stigma for me to want to expose myself online.

I’ll be back when I’m better.

Thanks for understanding,

Steph

P.S You can still catch me on twitter, being my usual self. get at me! @vegan_stephanie

 

Home

7 Sep

The driveway is narrow, but Britton insists on backing in anyways. We park under the huge willow tree, behind the white Audi Convertible. I walk up the flagstone walkway to the front door, and punch the code into the lock that doesn’t quite work anymore. I set my bag and shoes down on the stone entry-way flooring. Sheila has fresh sunflowers in a crystal vase by the door. The house smells like the candles she always lights. I run up the stairs and down the hallway to our room, Britton and I’s room.  It’s very large, with aqua walls. A huge mirror in an ornate gold frame faces the wall across from the queen sleigh bed. The blue paisley duvet and 10 pillows call my name. I sink into the soft mattress. The sheets are the softest I have ever slept in, and cost more than I could ever afford. I love coming here.

In this bed, I could sleep for days.

This is so exactly what I need right now. The comfort of home, and the luxury to help me forget that all my troubles are a mere 15 minute walk away – lying in a bed in the ICU, giving away family heirlooms to a woman he’s known only for a year.

The bitter taste in my mouth spoils everything.

my happiness project

3 Sep

If you follow me on twitter, you might have seen a tweet referencing the fact that I’m starting my very own Happiness Project

I started the project on Sept. 1st, and will be blogging about it at least monthly, possibly weekly depending on my work schedule.

I obviously got the idea after buying Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project.

I’m going to try and explain this project, and keep it concise – so bear with me here.

You really need to get this book to fully understand what the project is about. The author was a happy person with a happy life, but felt like she wasn’t fully enjoying what really mattered. In order to turn this around, she launched a one year project in which she took various scientific studies, wisdom, and other lessons about how to be happier. She broke everything down and assigned herself monthly goals, (for example: go to sleep earlier, start a blog, etc.) that made her a happier person.

I feel as though I am a happy person. I took the Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire and score a 3.4 out of 5. However, lately I can’t help but feel as though I’ve kind of had a chip on my shoulder.
I think we all sometimes let the not-so-great things in life sort of take the lead, and I’m no exception. For one, I feel lonely living in Northern Ontario. It’s beautiful, but it just isn’t “home”. There has also been some not-so-great stuff going down at work in terms of labour relations, and that has probably affected me more than almost anything else this year. I work more, and enjoy it less.

I’m feeling less like myself everyday, and I know that I am heading toward a major relapse in terms of my bulimia nervosa.

texts between a friend and I

So this is it. I start this month. (Note, I am still working away at my 101 in 1001 project as well!)

my goals for september were indeed plagiarized from Gretchen Rubin herself. The focus is improving my energy:

– Go to sleep earlier
– Exercise better
– Toss, restore, organize
– tackle a nagging task
– act more energetic

How am I doing so far?? I’m failing. But in my defense, Britton and I are away this week in Waterloo with friends, so we aren’t home to do many of those things. I’m on track for exercising, but going to bed at 2am most days…

Stay tuned!

I’ll (hopefully) do a recap at the end of the week outlining my first week on the project!

-Stephanie

one confession

22 Jun

I am a terrible person.

I’m not just saying that.

When I was a teenager I was abused.

I have spent many a night praying for that person to die. I begged for it.

He now has cancer.

Sick thing? I know I will miss him when he goes. I will miss him very very much.

paper

5 Jun

Our first anniversary is today.

I will do my best not to make this long and saptastic.

we celebrated on friday since I worked this weekend (including today). Was very sweet, romantic picnic at Bell Park.

I gave him his gift. An anniversary book. I got the idea from here


And he gave me tickets to see Cirque Du Soleil. NBD.

Totem. Toronto. Sept 1st. Stoked.

best.anniversary.ever.

Today he’s cooking me a special dinner and if you’re lucky I will blog about it tomorrow.. but truthfully we’re getting ready for his graduation celebration…. so I might not.

Later!